Bosox bludgeon Chisox for third game in a row

Boston 14, Chicago 2
WP: Wakefield (16-10)
LP: Buehrle (9-9)
HRs: CHI-Konerko (26)

SUMMARY
The Bosox offense continued to get healthy courtesy of the Chicago pitching staff, turning a scoreless game in the 6th into another laffer by piling up 14 runs in the final four frames to get Tim Wakefield his ML co-leading 16th victory.

#1 STUNNER Mike Lowell 4-6, 2R, 2BI
The votes are in and the polls are officially closed: this guy is the Red Sox MVP for 2007. His RBI single in the 6th started the avalanche of runs, and in the three games the veteran third baseman is 9-14 with 6 runs scored and 6 RBIs.

M-V-P, M-V-P, M-V-P...

PAN's FAUN Chicago bullpen 3IP, 9H, 10ER
After starter Mark Buehrle allowed 4 runs in the 6th Ozzie's sorry bunch of relievers came in and torched any hopes of a Chisox comeback. This pen--and this team as a whole--might just be the worst in baseball.

RECAP
I know Chicago is called the Windy City, but I never realized that nickname was derived from how badly the baseball team on the South Side blows.

For the third straight game the Red Sox batters pummelled the piss-poor White Sox pitching, ringing up 15 hits and nearly as many runs in Boston's 3rd consecutive rout of the hapless ChiSox, who have lost 12 of their last 14 games.

Believe it or not, this game was actually a pitchers duel for the first five innings, with each team notching just 1 hit apiece in a scoreless battle as starting pitchers Tim Wakefield and Mark Buehrle were plowing through the other lineup like Angelina Jolie plows through adoptions.

But after five scoreless innings featuring a combined 7 base runners (2 hits, 4 walks, 1 error), Boston erupted in the sixth, sending 10 batters to the plate and scoring four times off a suddenly shell shocked Buehrle (6IP, 6H, 4ER, 3BB, 3K).

Little did we know that was only the beginning of the beatdown Boston was about to inflict on these Second City saps.

The sixth inning started innocently enough when Dustin Pedroia legged out an infield single to short and then Buehrle got Coco Crisp to line one right back to the mound to rob him of a hit.

But then David "One Pitch" Ortiz sliced Buehrle's next offering the opposite way into the left center field gap, and although the speed-challenged Pedroia had to hold up at third, it soon wouldn't matter as Boston broke it open.

After something really strange happened.

Ozzie Guillen decided to walk Manny Ramirez (0-3, 2R) to load the bases and pitch to Mike Lowell.

I know, it makes sense to walk a Hall of Fame hitter with first base open and one out to set up the force at any base, but the way Lowell has been blistering the ball, coupled with the fact that he's got more RBIs than Ramirez does this year, made the decision seem a little bit odd, at least to me.

The professional hitter made the decision really look bad when he took a 1-2 pitch from Buehrle and slammed a single through the hole at shortstop for the first run of the game, a play that said "yes, I am the man when it comes to clutch RBIs on this team this year" and also opened the floodgates like a that first pee on a night out.

Kevin Youkilis and Bobby Kielty (3-5, 1R, 4RBI) followed Lowell's lead and hit nearly identical singles to the exact same spot, plating three more runs and by the time Buehrle recorded the final two outs of the inning he was done for the day, and the White Sox would be as well.

After Wake (7IP, 3H, 0ER, 3BB, 6K) pitched another 1-2-3 inning in the bottom of the 6th, Boston added another run on three hits and a walk in the 7th off the immortal Boone Logan, and the score was up to 5-0.

But not for long.

Wake escaped his biggest jam of the day in the bottom of the 7th when he allowed his first hits since the first inning, a one-out double by Jermaine Dye (2-3) and a two-out single by Danny Richar, but struck out Andy Gonzalez to end the threat.

Then in the top of the 8th the Boston batters laid the wood to the pathetic Chicago pen, racking up 8 runs on four hits, five walks including two with the bases loaded, two hit batters and two wild pitches.

Reliever Ryan Bukvich (0IP, 2H, 5ER, BB) began the festivities by plunking both Alex Cora and Kevin Cash to open the inning, then surrendered a ringing double to left by Pedroia (2-5, 2R, 2BI) to plate Cora and send Cash to third.

Coco walked after a lengthy at bat, and the Papi (2-5, 2R, 2BI) waited till the 6th pitch from Buckvich before he lined a single to right to score Cash and Pedroia, and just like that the score was 8-0 with plenty more to come.

Mike MacDougal (2/3IP, 2H, 3ER, 3BB, 3K) relieved Bukvich and continued to make it hard to believe he used to be an All Star closer when he promptly threw a wild pitch to move Ortiz to second, then after striking out Manny, uncorked another wild one that easily scored Coco from third.

On the next pitch Lowell grounded another single to left to score Papi with Boston's 10th run, and the Sox had just accomplished something no Boston team had done since 2000: score more than 10 runs in three consecutive games.

Not even against the Devil Rays.

MacDougal continued to meltdown as he walked Youk (2-5, 1R, 2BI), allowed an RBI double to deep left by Kielty, then after getting Cora to strike out, walked Cash, Pedroia and Crisp in succession, the last two with the bases loaded.

By the time pinch hitter J.D. Drew rained on the parade and struck out to end the onslaught, Boston led 13-0 and apparently had succeeded in hammering the fight out of the fiery Guillen and his team.

Kyle Snyder ruined the shutout bid when he gave up a two-run blast to Paul Konerko in the 8th after plunking A.J. Punchmeplease with a retaliatory pitch, but the Sox tacked on a "fuck you" run in the 9th on another RBI hit by Kielty.

After Javier Lopez got Jerry Owens to fly out to end the game, one of the most dominating two-day stretches in franchise history had come to a merciful conclusion.

So Tim Wakefield joined teammate Josh Beckett as the only two 16-game winners in the major leagues, continued his streak of recording a decision in every start this season, and continues to make us wonder if the 42-year-old made a pact with the devil, because he is pitching better now than he has in his entire career.

And Mike Lowell continues to amaze even the most hardened baseball fan, going from a "must take" piece in the Beckett deal due to his age, salary, and declining productivity to become the key cog on what looks like a surefire playoff team, leading the team in RBIs and leadership by example.

And the Boston offense has made the Chicago White Sox look like the worst team in major league baseball for three straight games, finding its missing mojo and finally taking advantage of every scoring opportunity that comes their way.

Ah, good times in the Nation indeed.

Holy shit, just writing that wore me out, so I'm just gonna say one more thing: let's do it again tomorrow, boys!